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Stoner Beaches

Most Beautiful Cape Town Beaches To Visit As A Stoner

Contrary to popular belief, autumn and winter are the best seasons to visit the beach in Cape Town. Why? Three words: Crowds, wind, temps.

You should be on the beach right now. Yes. Right now.

In the colder seasons, the beaches have fewer crowds, little to no wind, and sometimes, more comfortable temperatures.

(Ok that should have been more words but it would have ruined a well-constructed sentence and we’re all about the good syntax, baby!)

We know that you, as a seasoned stoner, are definitely NOT keen on noisy crowds, screaming winds, and/or temps in the +30s. Ew.

So we’re here to suggest our 5 favourite, most beautiful beaches for stoners to visit and maybe toke on a few vapes or chew a couple of gummies.

Beta Beach – Bakoven

This beach is a gem, surrounded by the #BigBois of Cape Town beaches, Camps Bay and the Cliftons. But Beta is different.

Firstly: no waves. So probably don’t go if you’re planning to surf. Secondly, there are a million little secluded nooks and crannies in the granite boulders to sit in, privately going about whatever activities are legally permissible on South African beaches.

However! There is no sun until the afternoon because this beach faces due West and is shadowed by Table Mountain, so the water is cold. Seriously cold. 

But just sit at your desk imagining how chilling on the beach would feel on one of those magical winter afternoons when the temps are in the mid-20s and the wind is non-existent. 

Now pack up and go. Your boss will never know.

Buffels Bay – Cape Point Nature Reserve

Ok, so you have to pay an entrance fee to get into the Cape Point Nature Reserve before you can access the beach but it’s worth it.

You can braai on this beach! Well, you can braai in the designated fireplaces. You can also dive off the beach (when the swell is low), and there is a lawn for those of you (us) who don’t like putting sandy toes back into shoes.

The other great thing about this beach is it’s really off the beaten track so you feel like you’ve had an adventure before you even get there! 

Just FYI the baboons can be quite hectic. They’ve been known to open unlocked car doors. DON’T FEED THEM!

Water’s Edge – Simon’s Town

Aaaah, our first mention of an Indian Ocean beach. The slightly less nut cracking sister to the Atlantic.

And what we have here is a relative of Boulders Beach, you know, with the penguins, but without all the tourists.

Water’s Edge has it all. Clean white beaches, tidal pools brimming with sea life, relatively warm sea temps, penguins, and did we mention seclusion?

The seclusion is so good that this beach is actually quite hard to find. Ok, so bear with us. 

Start at the Seaforth Beach parking lot, head past the back of the restaurant, trot down the walkway you’ll hopefully find, and then let yourself through the wooden gate. 

It’s more complicated than that but we like seclusion so the less people who find this beach the better.

Smitswinkel Bay – Smitswinkel Bay

Righto. Staying with the Indian Ocean (but only just) let’s look at Smitswinkel Bay beach. It’s the last piece of habitation on the Indian Ocean before you reach Cape Point.

This is a beach you’ll probably only go to if you book accommodation in Smitswinkel. Which we highly recommend.

We’ve heard legends about locals who actually live there but have never seen evidence.

So before you pack your Storz and Bickle Mighty Vaporizer and a beach towel, we have to ask… how fit are you? Be honest.

The beach is at the bottom of a 120-metre zig-zag path. If you’re not keen to hike back up, this is not the spot for you. 

But if you ARE keen, well, this is paradise.

There are only a few houses, and most of them are rentals. The beach is spectacular, sheltered from the worst of the wind, with white sand and clear water.

There is no cell phone reception, so this is not the place to call your cousin and have a loud chat about #TrendingTopic. 

Sandy Bay – Outside Llandudno

If you’re talking about beautiful beaches in Cape Town, you HAVE to mention Sandy Bay. Cape Town’s (unofficial) nude beach.

Sure, these Atlantic waters are blue, the sand is white, and the backdrop is the magnificent  Karbonkelberg, but what’s more beautiful than humans comfortable in their own skin?

This is also a good place to surf, although you should probably wear a wetsuit for that. Health and safety, right?

And yes, this is another hard-to-reach spot. Just Google it, you’ll get better directions and the map won’t hurt either.

If you’re up for more than sitting on the beach sampling some Zootly CBD Jellies, you can take a walk on the Sandy Bay Hiking Trail.

But be warned, this trail is not for beginners and takes at least 6.5 hours. If you’ve got into your own stash we recommend a 10-minute wander just to have a look. 

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